The skinny on the job loop –

I was hired for GNC and 5 days later told that they’d also hired a 22 yr old for the same store. I would only get a max of 14 hrs unless, once my training is done, I work at the Mall of GA store where I can get 30 hrs. Buford is too far to drive for minimum wage, it just is. The job requires constant standing and it’s taken every bit of willpower to do it. I am too heavy even though I’m loosing, to have no breaks and no chance to sit. I have not quit. I am taking it one day at a time. I think I picked up the respiratory bug from work, too, which hasn’t helped. I will work 5 hrs both Thursday and Friday for GNC. I need a pair of black slacks so I don’t have to wear the same pants every day. I’m also supposed to have a collared white shirt. Mngr is letting me wear a white tee until I get paid in 2 weeks – so much for a first check.

Yesterday, I was offered a fulltime job here in Snellville. Technically, it’s called a Produce Sales Manager. It’s through Manpower, a temp agency. It will run from June 1st until September, then maybe a bit longer. It is running a peach stand 6 days a week. Steve and I could run it together, we could take Jackie if we want, It’s like it’s ours. We’d be responsible for inventory, money, sales, etc. If I needed a day for other things, Steve could watch it. If he needs a day, I can do it. Sounds good. Money is $410 a week with comission potential of up to $240. It’s also better than GNC. I can do other activities when I’m not busy, like crochet, read, use the laptop, etc. I might even be able to sell my herbs.

So we drove to the address the lady gave us yesterday where the stand would be and there is no hint of a stand. Nothing. No fence, no stand, no spot for it that we can see. If the address is correct, it would be crammed against the road, no grass, no tress, nothing but asphalt. NOT GOOD. We certainly couldn’t take Jackie and as much as people don’t understand, the dog is a big consideration for us; as is being able to stand the heat coming off the traffic in the GA summer temps. We were pretty let down. If they position it toward the back of the strip mall, it would be doable, but the address is not what she gave me. As much as we’d like the job, something has to be different to take it. They told me there would be opportunity to sell pumpkins and xmas trees as well, as the year progressed. Not gonna happen there.

Steve’s also working one day a week with his brother at $15 an hour. He says there is a possibility of working two days.

I’m cleaning a house 2 days a month now, too, making $100 each day. That took both me and Steve 5 hrs to complete.

We’ve been picking up a few dollars here and there from trivia – $30 on Thursday, $$25 – 50 on Wednesday.  It’s basically our meal and gas, but it’s an outing we enjoy. We accumulated enough points to qualify for a tournament and I played on an alternate team which actually won 1st place. My share of the winnings was $100. It was fun and it helps a lot. When we play Fridays, we always win House cash which helps with the groceries a lot. We can go in and get a meal and salad to share, take something home for G, and this week we had a beer. It feels like a guilty pleasure sometimes, but we have to protect our marriage too and do something together. Plus we put the winnings and bit of money we get into the bank for the house payment. The kids refuse to make the housepayment because they are afraid if they help with that, we’ll still end up loosing it and they don’t want to throw their money away. SIGH.

The hardest part is that nothing is set yet. Every penny we get goes to food or gas and the house and there are needs we face that can’t begin to be met. The kids are my main emotional support but even then I’m always careful not to say too much or let them hear me cry. But their excitement over GNC just fills me with guilt because I know I can’t keep the job. I’m in too much pain. I’m not being picky and I’m not self-sabotaging as someone accused me of. I was a customer support rep and a pet store manager, I’ve thrown a newspaper route and I was a homemaker.  In that order. I have messed up college loans because I tried to attend online college and they screwed me before I could get my degree. I can’t go back to school because my loans are maxed out.

This morning I picked a small bunch of broccoli, 4 strawberries and a cucumber out of the garden. The laptop has died. We have no air conditioning and it’s 90-95 degrees this week. The washer only half works, the agitator function is breaking. We have no dryer. The vaccume cleaner is bungie corded and duct taped to the handle. G’s clothes are not gonna make another 2 months let alone another year – his knees are all ripped out and they are too short. He has no shorts and only a couple of tee shirts. His school shirts are horribly stained. Steve has lost weight too and his pants are falling off of him. He has old holie tees that were trivia wins in the first place. I’ve lost from a size 28 to a 20 and have nothing. I died my hair to try to get a job and now I have to keep it dyed –

I swear I’m trying to be positive but it just doesn’t help to say this morning I picked a small bunch of broccoli, 4 strawberries and a cucumber out of the garden, again. Life is overwhelming and the govt is ignoring the unemployed. We’re just 10% of the population anyway, right? I am just at such a loss. I can’t ask my daughter for more money. They pay our utilities and bank auto drafts and it’s not like that’s small. The amounts fluctuate and they will do it for us long term. But how do we get to the point where things are enough? I don’t want a lot. I just want enough.

Every morning I begin my days with thank you’s to the Universe. I thanked the Powers that Be for my broccoli, strawberries, cucumber and the baby squash on the vines. I said thank you for the new day to figure this out in. I do count every opportunity as a positive – I ask the Universe/Goddess to show me the good stuff. She always does, but “the bad is the balance” comes to me. It keeps us humble. I don’t know what we will do to get through and make our own way, but we are trying.

Do you hear me GOD? We are trying.


About Morning Knits

I believe in and practice positive living. I love YARN, music, bird watching, history, gemstones, and gardening. I am passionate about the Earth. I am a true homebody. I've said I was Pagan for years to separate myself from a churchy upbringing and judgmental family that left me outside of its bounds. I believe it's our responsibility to tend and protect the Earth. I basically do my thing in a quiet, amused way. I believe in the power of my own hands, the energy of combined prayer, and caring for the earth. I attend a Kingdom focused non denominational Christian Church. I have 6 kids, all home-born and successfully breastfed. The oldest 5 are grown. The youngest is attending Community College and living at home. I'm the oldest of 9, daughter of a missionary mother who lives in Kenya, married to the son of a preacher, with 4 spoiled dogs and and a rescued kitten. Right now, there is small balance after yrs of unemployment. My disability was approved due to degenerative discs, fibromyalgia, and obesity. That last is hard to say. I believe we owe it to ourselves to protect our mental health. It's precious and the one thing we can control. I dislike my own housework and I talk too much. I bought a house in North Carolina and after trying to get my husband here for 6 months, he had a stroke. I'm a two-time caregiver. Steve's got hemiparesis and depression and is learning to walk and trying to use his right side again. It's slow go.
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3 Responses to The skinny on the job loop –

  1. We decided to accept the peach stand job. Vanessa is helping me with a logo for the cleaning portion of our endeavors. And I AM grateful for the strawberries, broccoli, and cucumber.

  2. Kathy says:

    You’re right Amber. When you’re working only to pay for gas to get to and from, there’s really no point. I’m so frustrated for you. The government has to see that benefits need extended and that families are being strung by their heels. My heart is with you and I love you.

  3. CottageWitch says:

    well, hell ❤ i love you my sweet! sorry to be so far behind! gonna go catch up on your little world.

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