keeping it real

The ever elusive freeze-dried foodstuff has finally made it’s way here. Boxes and boxes – a pretty good variety too if it’s palatable. Sliced apples, sliced peaches, applesauce, whole wheat, cornmeal, rolled oats, beef stroganoff, country stew, stew vegetable mix, protein powders, raisins, cheddar cheese powder, peanut butter powder, prunes, margarine/butter powder, mashed potatoes, dry milk powder, and a hamburger flavored textured protein. We’re trying a can of Country stew tonight!

I received a packet of vege seeds in the mail today. Got them planted and the sprinkler is running. My fingers are crossed that soon we’ll have salad greens, onions, beets, spinach, broccoli, cauliflower. Fall garden extrordinaire!

There were a couple of wtf moments as I reacted to a link to where there are jobs to be had. North Dakota has oil jobs. No housing for the workers with approaching winter, but McDonalds is paying $15 an hour. Housing that IS available, looks high. One, I did react and I did cry. Homelessness is heavy on my mind. I don’t have gas to drive to the grocery store let alone money to consider leaving everything behind and going to a boom town in ND on the Canadian boarder. Negative? Maybe I am. but if it comes through, it’s just because i am watching my life and my family’s lives move closer and closer to what we fight against. It’s not a natural disaster for sure, but in our life, it might as well be. I guess if we are on the street, I’ll pack my car with everything I can and drive toward where we want to end up. I will smile for appearances, and sing to keep my family from despair, but I am not gonna like it. This whole situation sucks and those who have jobs need to stop thinking jobs are out there and it’s just my outlook why I don’t get chosen for one of them. No, it’s not my age keeping me from working. It’s my ruined credit, and the distance I have to travel to get to the job, and the 400 people they get to choose from who live right where the job is. When so many want a job, only the person who’s “perfect for the employer” will get one. That’s not negative, it’s real.

So I’ll figure something out. What? I really don’t have a clue – But the mantra of “one day at a time” is a lifeline I’m holding on to for all I’m worth.

The stew was sold in 1982. Canned, 29 yrs ago. It’s not good, but it’ll do. I let it cool and closed my eyes. Jackie had a bowl for dinner too.

G ate Ramen.

My prayers are with SO many.


About Morning Knits

I believe in and practice positive living. I love YARN, music, bird watching, history, gemstones, and gardening. I am passionate about the Earth. I am a true homebody. I've said I was Pagan for years to separate myself from a churchy upbringing and judgmental family that left me outside of its bounds. I believe it's our responsibility to tend and protect the Earth. I basically do my thing in a quiet, amused way. I believe in the power of my own hands, the energy of combined prayer, and caring for the earth. I attend a Kingdom focused non denominational Christian Church. I have 6 kids, all home-born and successfully breastfed. The oldest 5 are grown. The youngest is attending Community College and living at home. I'm the oldest of 9, daughter of a missionary mother who lives in Kenya, married to the son of a preacher, with 4 spoiled dogs and and a rescued kitten. Right now, there is small balance after yrs of unemployment. My disability was approved due to degenerative discs, fibromyalgia, and obesity. That last is hard to say. I believe we owe it to ourselves to protect our mental health. It's precious and the one thing we can control. I dislike my own housework and I talk too much. I bought a house in North Carolina and after trying to get my husband here for 6 months, he had a stroke. I'm a two-time caregiver. Steve's got hemiparesis and depression and is learning to walk and trying to use his right side again. It's slow go.
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2 Responses to keeping it real

  1. Sandy Stacey says:

    I had a long reply and deleted it Amber. Between crying and trying to find a way to help ease your life a little bit, I ‘lost it’ and now I just want you to know I am here and loving you and feeling helpless.

    You’re not negative, Amber, you are sharing honestly your truth and I love you doing so and so glad I found this blog.

    All I can offer you right now is my friendship and love I’ve held in my heart for you from the beginning of our friendship.

    You leave me speechless. Beyond words as I grapple with so many feelings.

    Love and hugs, Sandy/Windsong

  2. Sandy please don’t read it and cry. I love you. The bad stuff is not what this is about. I’m trying to document the journey, you know? You are so dear to me. I know you do everything you can for us and Goddess knows, whether people believe as we do or not, there is power in prayer and we, are rich in prayers sent on our behalf.

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