looking for dollars :0) and magic

Another day, another dollar, right? Well. Looks like it was right today. eBay has provided a little bit of money this week. G sold several video games with his sights set on a new game. Steve sold a few DVDs too. I listed a few clothing items to see if they might move. If not, we’ll donate the room full of stuff we got from Steve’s sister. We’ll see what happens.

I am struggling with dislike of eBay – since I’m the only one who uses the computer well enough to list items, I get stacks of stuff deposited into my space. I’m trying to handle it, but it’s not an area of strength for me. I walked into the bedroom and Steve had electronics spread out on our bed. He doesn’t spread the blankets, he lays the dusty stuff out on the sheet. <shudder> I can barely stand it. He was searching for cords and soon, I’ll have another box at my feet. He has got to learn to list his own stuff and put it in his room, not near me. I’m old! I have ICKIES about stuff.

I started a pair of wrist warmers today. A friend bought a pair and also paid for a purple shawl. I took pictures of the pink one I made and will list it on eBay (blak!) tomorrow. I have to package and mail all the games and dvd’s tomorrow. I know I have to work out these negatives toward something that might help us.

I was going over past readings today and am thinking I need to do some research. I may have another kind of focus I can make money from. Funny how everything has this money view right now – not really, but it has to be run through that filter. Will it make money, can I use it to make money. What are my talents and abilities? Can I market them? Can I use my skills in a way that I can keep up with need and want and demand? lol geez Amber, STOP for a minute!

BREATHE.

I walked out into the garden and loved on my baby lettuce. I pulled a couple and talked to them. I used my little 3 prong hand tool (what is that called?) and worked the roots a bit. I thought of the conversation I had with Sara this morning. She asked me if I am a witch. I told her some people might say so. She thinks there is a portal to magical creatures. I told her that all children are keepers of magic and imagination. I told her there is real magic and she has to prepare to receive her gifts. She wanted to know if I knew what her gifts are and I told her NO but I watch her to see if they are developing. She doesn’t understand, so I try to simply answer her questions and keep the communication open. I don’t want to discourage her or lead her into sillyness.

I opened my medicine bag tonight, something I haven’t done in a long time and handled each of the items in it. I spent a few minutes with my bear claw talking to my power animal. Sometimes she walks behind me and I don’t see her like I should. It was good to remember.

My gramma voice was giving me ideas for spring plants and telling me how to focus and where to put things. Most people don’t have an internal voice like I have. It’s no nonsense, loud, guiding, loving, practical – lol ever present. I may have to deal with the seriousness of money and making ends meet, but I am reclaiming my magic. I am reaquainting myself with my music and my early morning time. AND, I am reclaiming my meditation time and drumming. If I have to schedule it in, so be it. To my gramma voice – I’m sorry I wasn’t listening. I will remember.

I also hung a string of beads for the fae. It felt right.

I need to make some prayer ties.

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About Green Jean Granny

I believe in and practice positive living with a bit of a barb it seems. I love YARN, music, reading, history, and gemstones. I am passionate about the Earth. I am a true homebody. I've said I was Pagan for years to separate myself from a churchy upbringing and judgmental family that left me outside of its beliefs. I believe it's our responsibility to tend and protect the Earth. I basically do my thing in a (not so) quiet, amused way. I believe in the power of my own hands, the energy of combined prayer, and caring for the earth. I attend a nondenominational Christian Church. I have 6 kids, all home-born and successfully breastfed. The oldest 5 are grown. The youngest is attending Community College and living at home. I'm the oldest of 9, daughter of a missionary mother who lives in The Republic of Congo, married to the son of a preacher, with 3 spoiled dogs and and an add on (my daughter's pit bull lives here for a bit while she hikes the Appalachian Trail. Right now, there is small balance after yrs of unemployment. My disability was approved due to degenerative disc disease and fibromyalgia. I believe we owe it to ourselves to protect our mental health. It's precious and the one thing we can control. I dislike my own housework and I talk too much. I bought a house in North Carolina and after trying to get my husband here for 6 months, he had a stroke. I'm a two-time caregiver. Steve's got hemiparesis and diabetes and is learning to walk and trying to use his right side again. It's slow going. Our 10 kitties were rehomed by rescue after his stroke.
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