Yesterday was our trivia tournament. We did well, had a good team, but didn’t pull out THE win. The last question was tricky. Put down up to 20 answers, 2 pts for each right answer, 2 points subtracted for each wrong. We had a good number right, but too many wrong. Our first place going into the final slipped away – and our team of 6 won $100. We are all disappointed.

Steve’s been up all night reliving the loss and kicking himself for what should/could have been. I went to bed early – the strain had me experiencing heart palpatations and sweaty palms. Win or no, it stopped being quite as important when I had such an intense physical reaction. So after eating a sandwhich, I headed on upstairs to let my mind and body rest.

This morning, I feel much better. Steve has finally gone upstairs to pace, and is now vomiting. I guess he didn’t need my unasked for reminder about guarding his mental health. I have the living room cleaned and projects planned for today. I simply have no clue how to bring in the house payment for October. We are down yesterday’s $100 which we traded to compete instead of work, and Steve had a short day at his brother’s on Wednesday. So $140 less this week than expected – and I really don’t know what to do.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to just decide to stop this merry-go-round but there is no other ride to jump onto. As many pennies as I save, as much I plan and corners that I cut, there is still no job. That one factor keeps everything else from prospering.

Yesterday’s loss was big – first was $2500. We had to try. We lost by 4 answers too many.

Now we recover. I hope.


About Morning Knits

I believe in and practice positive living. I love YARN, music, bird watching, history, gemstones, and gardening. I am passionate about the Earth. I am a true homebody. I've said I was Pagan for years to separate myself from a churchy upbringing and judgmental family that left me outside of its bounds. I believe it's our responsibility to tend and protect the Earth. I basically do my thing in a quiet, amused way. I believe in the power of my own hands, the energy of combined prayer, and caring for the earth. I attend a Kingdom focused non denominational Christian Church. I have 6 kids, all home-born and successfully breastfed. The oldest 5 are grown. The youngest is attending Community College and living at home. I'm the oldest of 9, daughter of a missionary mother who lives in Kenya, married to the son of a preacher, with 4 spoiled dogs and and a rescued kitten. Right now, there is small balance after yrs of unemployment. My disability was approved due to degenerative discs, fibromyalgia, and obesity. That last is hard to say. I believe we owe it to ourselves to protect our mental health. It's precious and the one thing we can control. I dislike my own housework and I talk too much. I bought a house in North Carolina and after trying to get my husband here for 6 months, he had a stroke. I'm a two-time caregiver. Steve's got hemiparesis and depression and is learning to walk and trying to use his right side again. It's slow go.
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