I know that’s not true, but the thought still comes.
I don’t understand how we can try so very hard and nothing works out for us. Friends have sweet words about how everyone is struggling and it will work out – but I saw an entire house payment that took us 3 months to gather handed to a man who pulled my teeth in under 10 minutes. AND I have to pay him MORE when there isn’t any more. My water and electric and gas are sitting at 2 months back. My phone is on for 2 more days. The Internet will be no good without the electric. We have no firewood. we can’t do ebay because of fees we no longer have. Our home is entering foreclosure. Oh, and the DFCS office called leaving a number that is full and won’t take messages.
Maybe if I set out some pots, I can catch all this rain and do something with it. It’s sure as heck pouring right now.
If I disappear, you know why.
There is land to move onto – I think that’s something. We have to hit the wall first and I know this. I’m trying to hide my eyes though, as emotionally, I don’t feel positive or strong even though I know I will be.