walk a mile

Walk a mile in someone’s shoes to understand their problems… we used to get told that as kids. Sometimes I see the posts on FB and can’t even pretend not to cry as they make fun of people. There’s that fast like button as the funny picture makes the rounds. It may seem silly or stupid on the surface, but how can we judge? I mean really, how can we judge another’s actions? Their clothes? Their lack of hygene? Their hair? Their jerry-rigged car, their junky home? People need to see that they don’t have to walk in another’s shoes, they just need to see the world with kinder eyes. Where is the compassion?

I’m not having much fun online these days. I am happy for people when they buy a new book, decorate a room, see a movie, go out to dinner. I’m not wishing that away from them. I just can’t share in it anymore. It’s been years since we’ve done those things. I think in these lower terms lately, looking away so I don’t let myself want things…hoping I can figure out something I can do that people will want to buy…I miss the comforts.

I’m tired. I’m not sleeping well. It’s cold in the house. No wood for the fireplace and having to stay in one place so the heat can touch you gets old. I’m ready for spring.

Someone asked me if I could make a little crocheted bag with a pentacle on it – I’m sure I can. I feel bad to charge my friends for little things I’d simply give to them. Now there is a concept – simply giving. Simply. Giving. It’s whats inside me and this hand to mouth mentality that’s trying to swallow me up frightens me.

What God or Goddess can one turn to get out of this fucking reality?  Lift me above these petty worries and help me see the path. I’m so freaking lost. We think something is going to get better and half of what we counted on is snatched away.

Here, let me adjust my outlook…

Today. I have food to eat. Clothes to wear. A roof. People who love me. Absence of physical pain.

Why do I think I deserve anything else? I don’t really. I’m just missing some peace of mind… and I miss having warm hands. People take a thermostat way too much for granted.

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About Green Jean Granny

I believe in and practice positive living with a bit of a barb it seems. I love YARN, music, reading, history, and gemstones. I am passionate about the Earth. I am a true homebody. I've said I was Pagan for years to separate myself from a churchy upbringing and judgmental family that left me outside of its beliefs. I believe it's our responsibility to tend and protect the Earth. I basically do my thing in a (not so) quiet, amused way. I believe in the power of my own hands, the energy of combined prayer, and caring for the earth. I attend a nondenominational Christian Church. I have 6 kids, all home-born and successfully breastfed. The oldest 5 are grown. The youngest is attending Community College and living at home. I'm the oldest of 9, daughter of a missionary mother who lives in The Republic of Congo, married to the son of a preacher, with 3 spoiled dogs and and an add on (my daughter's pit bull lives here for a bit while she hikes the Appalachian Trail. Right now, there is small balance after yrs of unemployment. My disability was approved due to degenerative disc disease and fibromyalgia. I believe we owe it to ourselves to protect our mental health. It's precious and the one thing we can control. I dislike my own housework and I talk too much. I bought a house in North Carolina and after trying to get my husband here for 6 months, he had a stroke. I'm a two-time caregiver. Steve's got hemiparesis and diabetes and is learning to walk and trying to use his right side again. It's slow going. Our 10 kitties were rehomed by rescue after his stroke.
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