is it hoarding or extreme saving?

I went outside this morning and behind the Jimmy, sat a tree stump with it’s roots. Steve worked with his brother yesterday and I have to have his junk carried to our yard.

Steve and I both have stuff, don’t get me wrong. I have dishes, cook books, yarn, beads, books, paints, any craft item I might possibly need, I have. Steve has broken electronis, old moldy books, old board games, dry rotted basketballs, and every item I’ve ever asked him to donate. Is mine different from his? Mine is organized and has a place. His is jammed into a shed, in closets, against the house on our deck. Mine is pleasant to look at. His makes me cringe.

But really, I keep asking myself, is there a difference? I’ve almost left him over this 3 times in our 18 yrs. I love him, but I can’t stand his stuff.


About Morning Knits

I believe in and practice positive living. I love YARN, music, bird watching, history, gemstones, and gardening. I am passionate about the Earth. I am a true homebody. I've said I was Pagan for years to separate myself from a churchy upbringing and judgmental family that left me outside of its bounds. I believe it's our responsibility to tend and protect the Earth. I basically do my thing in a quiet, amused way. I believe in the power of my own hands, the energy of combined prayer, and caring for the earth. I attend a Kingdom focused non denominational Christian Church. I have 6 kids, all home-born and successfully breastfed. The oldest 5 are grown. The youngest is attending Community College and living at home. I'm the oldest of 9, daughter of a missionary mother who lives in Kenya, married to the son of a preacher, with 4 spoiled dogs and and a rescued kitten. Right now, there is small balance after yrs of unemployment. My disability was approved due to degenerative discs, fibromyalgia, and obesity. That last is hard to say. I believe we owe it to ourselves to protect our mental health. It's precious and the one thing we can control. I dislike my own housework and I talk too much. I bought a house in North Carolina and after trying to get my husband here for 6 months, he had a stroke. I'm a two-time caregiver. Steve's got hemiparesis and depression and is learning to walk and trying to use his right side again. It's slow go.
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2 Responses to is it hoarding or extreme saving?

  1. bicky says:

    my feeling is, yes his is different. youre both hoarding, but his is to fill a void in his psyche, yours will fill a void in your pocketbook. what was the purpose of the tree stump? fire wood? a unique planter? i have helped a friend, (cecilia) work through her hoarding tendencies. one of the first things they have to do, is to face the void. and men have a far harder time doing it. women will do it if someone holds their hand, men would rather face those demons alone and on their own timeline. kent had attachments to things, and he has learned to lose them. it wasnt easy, but ive also learned that i can throw away stuff and it literally takes him YEARS to notice its gone. forgetfulness + hoarding = JACKPOT.

  2. Ameth Jera says:

    It’s been my experience that your material possessions define you. The stuff you have-what you have purposely bought or saved and what you have accumulated is entirely different. It’s a human tendency to acquire or keep stuff you think you will use. If you have an active project in the works, then those are reasonable actions, but if you’re saving something for ‘someday’, or because you’re afraid you’ll need it and won’t have it, difficult as it may be it’s probably time to honestly re-examine why you need it. My grandparents were fanatical collectors of things after living through the Great Depression and their house was filled with the treasures they hoarded out of fear. I suspect Steve is feeling a bit this way now in light of what’s going on in your lives.Having been in a similar position myself, I can empathize, but realizing that I am not my circumstances has helped to me to dispel the fear and keep possible hoarding under control.

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