Had another row with hubby. He blames me for the money mess – I’m tired of being blamed. WE, TOGETHER, should have been more careful, but no one could have planned for this situation. We got 7 of 8 kids cared for as best we could – We had paper routes for godsakes for too many years. For 3 years, we had enough and should have been smarter. And then we were both laid off. Yes, we had our hands on some money over the years – but do we kick each other for a trip to Mexico? Or a storage shed, or a deck we had built, or paint and carpet and home repairs? Do I have to be forever guilty for thinking we were gonna be ok? It never entered my mind my job would go down the toilet first.
I am so tired.
We got the foreclosure papers on the house again yesterday. That gives us about 6 weeks total to figure something out. The kids thought we should have bailed last time, but G has to finish his school year. Steve may be mad at me, but I couldn’t have changed this. Apparently I’ve failed again in my life – but I can’t imagine how I could have done differently or better. Apparently, he imagines it all the time.
I don’t know what will happen to us. I don’t know where we will go. I don’t know what we will salvage out of our lives. I don’t even know if he will figure something out at the last moment. I don’t know if we will be together.
I just know I’m tired.