Took 3 years to get medicaid for us, and now that we have it, I keep thinking ‘what the hell’. I’m anemic with a vitD deficiency. Steve’s got high blood pressure and high cholesterol, hypothyroid, and enlarged prostate. Both of us have abnormal gloucose readings. It will be another week befor we get the official results from the doctor. G is fine except we need $2,000 for two root canals for his front teeth – which medicaid will pull, not fix. His front teeth!!! You’d think they would help with this. We are scheduled for colonoscopys, she said she’d refer me for a mamogram and sonogram of the breast lump. No word on the papsmear AND yesterday’s mail had a referal for physciatric eval for anxiety which I never mentioned. I have an otc temporary plug in my tooth that needs a root canal, also a front tooth they will fill but not help fix. I guess I am a bit down.

Friday we got the foreclosure papers again. Nothing has changed except there’s no one to help except Steve’s brother – that’s not reassuring to me since they love him and not the rest of us. Steve’s a suffer in silence till the last moment possible kinda guy and I swear if he kills himself I will haunt his ass forever and ever and ever.

I’m just tired of the yoyo shit.

Vanessa will be here the first week in May and I’ll get to see Haskell. I want to put my hands on that baby so bad… and I want to see Isaac more than anyone can know.


About Morning Knits

I believe in and practice positive living. I love YARN, music, bird watching, history, gemstones, and gardening. I am passionate about the Earth. I am a true homebody. I've said I was Pagan for years to separate myself from a churchy upbringing and judgmental family that left me outside of its bounds. I believe it's our responsibility to tend and protect the Earth. I basically do my thing in a quiet, amused way. I believe in the power of my own hands, the energy of combined prayer, and caring for the earth. I attend a Kingdom focused non denominational Christian Church. I have 6 kids, all home-born and successfully breastfed. The oldest 5 are grown. The youngest is attending Community College and living at home. I'm the oldest of 9, daughter of a missionary mother who lives in Kenya, married to the son of a preacher, with 4 spoiled dogs and and a rescued kitten. Right now, there is small balance after yrs of unemployment. My disability was approved due to degenerative discs, fibromyalgia, and obesity. That last is hard to say. I believe we owe it to ourselves to protect our mental health. It's precious and the one thing we can control. I dislike my own housework and I talk too much. I bought a house in North Carolina and after trying to get my husband here for 6 months, he had a stroke. I'm a two-time caregiver. Steve's got hemiparesis and depression and is learning to walk and trying to use his right side again. It's slow go.
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