In the wake of a storm, my problems seem like nothing.

Steve got an extension till Friday for the electric bill. After next Tuesday, I can pay the Internet bill. Then we are back to the monthly struggle.

The drs changed my meds and ordered a MRI. They want an XRAY of my foot. I won’t be taking Tram-dol or Percocet. Instead, they upped the Gabapentin and added Loritab. I had to sign a pain contract and agree to random drug testing and random pill counting. Fine. How do you measure pain? 1-10… it’s not like giving birth. It’s not gonna kill me, It shoots up my arm when I reach for something or take a step or wipe my butt. It’s impossible to lift a pot of water. And the damn pain in my foot shoots up my leg and throbs. I can’t walk for long. I NEED the grocery cart to walk through the store. I can’t cut vegetables for dinner. Things that impact our lives…but aren’t a number on a 1-10 scale, but they add up and make me feel worthless.

But measured against the suffering of a hurricane’s destruction – I am totally blessed. The things I suffer with are just trivial. I feel pain constantly, but it only shoots when I move around. I can be still. For now. I am inconvenienced more than anything.

Steve has injured his rotator cuff as well. We are quite a pair.


About Morning Knits

I believe in and practice positive living. I love YARN, music, bird watching, history, gemstones, and gardening. I am passionate about the Earth. I am a true homebody. I've said I was Pagan for years to separate myself from a churchy upbringing and judgmental family that left me outside of its bounds. I believe it's our responsibility to tend and protect the Earth. I basically do my thing in a quiet, amused way. I believe in the power of my own hands, the energy of combined prayer, and caring for the earth. I attend a Kingdom focused non denominational Christian Church. I have 6 kids, all home-born and successfully breastfed. The oldest 5 are grown. The youngest is attending Community College and living at home. I'm the oldest of 9, daughter of a missionary mother who lives in Kenya, married to the son of a preacher, with 4 spoiled dogs and and a rescued kitten. Right now, there is small balance after yrs of unemployment. My disability was approved due to degenerative discs, fibromyalgia, and obesity. That last is hard to say. I believe we owe it to ourselves to protect our mental health. It's precious and the one thing we can control. I dislike my own housework and I talk too much. I bought a house in North Carolina and after trying to get my husband here for 6 months, he had a stroke. I'm a two-time caregiver. Steve's got hemiparesis and depression and is learning to walk and trying to use his right side again. It's slow go.
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