I finally got coffee and…

toilet paper. I had to bite my tongue not to say mean things today. Steve refused to walk down the road to the gas station for toilet paper. Instead, Taryn had to drive over here and bring me some. I wish to god I could do it. G doesn’t understand the bank cards or I’d of sent him – there are some things autistic teens don’t get yet. But husbands sure as hell should. So she brought me coffee creamer too. Bless her heart.
We are out of food – as far as G is concerned. He’s got dinner though. First time for crab cakes. Plain rice, imitation crab cakes. Main food of the day. I made fudge too. We have this wierd combination left over. A pack of egg noodles, cottage cheese, a box of Bisquick, 10 boxes of Jiffy Corn muffin mix, 7 potatoes, 2 onions, 6 sweet potatoes, instant milk, herb tea, peanut butter, 3 bags of beans. lol so wierd. Stuff to eat, but no real meals. No food stamps this month, we didn’t get there with the truck troubles. This next month is gonna be hard.
So on top of wiping on a kitchen towel all day, Steve did nothing on the Jimmy. He got ready to go out at 5pm and it started raining again. I kept telling him it was supposed to rain and he needed to work on it instead of being on the computer. At 7, I started making dinner and he wanted to feel me up. I told him to stop. I wasn’t giving anything up until he’s saved our house. I kept it low key, but I told him I wasn’t having him carry on about how our sex was the worst ever by having sex when I was angry. If he looses the house, I’m leaving. I really am. I love him but I’m done. I have to be someplace where G can not be worried like this. I really don’t know how to manage this, but me the kid, a cat and 2 dogs and my yarn and stuff. I guess the kids will have to help. V just found out she’s pregnant again. They wanted another baby, but it was a bit sooner than they expected. Oh the thoughts that come up. In the end…all that matters is the kindness of my kid. She wouldn’t let me write her a check for the tp and creamer and gas. And I am enjoying my coffee in the mug Stephanie sent me. It’s been a good day. 🙂


About Morning Knits

I believe in and practice positive living. I love YARN, music, bird watching, history, gemstones, and gardening. I am passionate about the Earth. I am a true homebody. I've said I was Pagan for years to separate myself from a churchy upbringing and judgmental family that left me outside of its bounds. I believe it's our responsibility to tend and protect the Earth. I basically do my thing in a quiet, amused way. I believe in the power of my own hands, the energy of combined prayer, and caring for the earth. I attend a Kingdom focused non denominational Christian Church. I have 6 kids, all home-born and successfully breastfed. The oldest 5 are grown. The youngest is attending Community College and living at home. I'm the oldest of 9, daughter of a missionary mother who lives in Kenya, married to the son of a preacher, with 4 spoiled dogs and and a rescued kitten. Right now, there is small balance after yrs of unemployment. My disability was approved due to degenerative discs, fibromyalgia, and obesity. That last is hard to say. I believe we owe it to ourselves to protect our mental health. It's precious and the one thing we can control. I dislike my own housework and I talk too much. I bought a house in North Carolina and after trying to get my husband here for 6 months, he had a stroke. I'm a two-time caregiver. Steve's got hemiparesis and depression and is learning to walk and trying to use his right side again. It's slow go.
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