So today I got blamed for not letting anyone know that cared about Kansas, that his parole could be coming up. All they asked me was whether I’d let him live with me, and I said no. They wouldn’t even let me know where he was. AND, everything I left behind was donated. I have no right to feel anything about anything.
I live with this extreme weight because I can’t please anyone. I am going to have a huge cry and release my children to the Goddess. I cannot keep my heart exposed to the two of them. May She protect the innocent babies. I am done with this.
But it hurts like hell. I didn’t choose to give up my children and my grandbabies. I didn’t choose to go leave my things forever. I chose to undo leaving my husband and thought I could go back for my things. I thought my daughter loved me. Yeah, there are consequences. I just didn’t expect this.
My oldest wrote me a note to tell me how sorry she was and that I didn’t deserve this. It means more than she will ever know.