Again. We have gone round and round all morning. I have given him every minute since 8 o’clock so he could know I am listening to him. He has kept on and kept on about hating Rocky Mount and how I censor him. I let him talk and kept silent. He apologized for fighting with me and said how he should just realize I don’t talk easily in the mornings. I thought we’d found some peace and I wrote G a list of things to do for me. Steve wanted me to have him go outside and stack the wood pile right now. I said later is fine because it’s raining. He said “I always did those things regardless of the weather.” I said I know it, but now, we are protecting ourselves from getting sick. I mentioned calling the city about the tarp that breeds mosquitoes lying in the yard of the house next door. He came back with putting a chain link fence around the front yard. I said I’d like the falling down fence on the other side of us knocked off the posts and laid against the house. he went off about stupid people and RM not caring about how people keep their property. I felt myself cringe physically, and asked him if he could try not to go off onto other examples and stick to the conversation. He jumped on me about cutting him off and not letting him be himself. He headed back into his early morning tirade and I said NO. I’m not listening and he said I guess I just won’t talk then. I said Fine. Don’t talk and as he continued with his flood of how I won’t let him express himself, I raised my voice said THAT’S RIGHT and put my earbuds in. He tried to talk louder and I turned up the music. I hate to hurt him, but I can’t stand another moment of this today.
Now he’s in the bedroom crying again. Shit. Shit. Shit. There is no winning in this situation. It sucks for both of us.